Welcome to “The Diary Of And Frankly..”
One of my favorite books is “The Diary Of Anne Frank.” For two years she poured herself into letters which were diary entries. The “person” she wrote to most often was “Kitty.” Kitty was not a real person, but seemed to be Anne’s closest friend. The truth was “Kitty” was her diary, her innermost thoughts, hopes and fears. She showed through her faithful writing to “Kitty” that she considered herself her closest friend and was honest with herself about everything that crossed her mind.
May we all be true to ourselves and our “Kitty.” May we embrace our thoughts as our best friend.
May we just “Be Frank….”
At 35 I didn’t see myself with children as a widow, but that is where I found myself. I had been married to for 12 years when my husband chose to take his life.
“Just when the caterpillar thought life was over, it became a butterfly”
Just like that caterpillar, I thought life was over and then I became a butterfly. The butterfly is the REAL ME. The me that worries about failing. The me that loves photography. The me who can’t organize her closet to save her life. The me who wants my life to make a difference. The me who is wildly in love with a man who changed my life. The me that is a step-parent to 4 boys. The me that has never parented a teenager and their dramas, but now faces two hormone crazed teenage boys. The me who continues to mother three daughters who lost a father, but are learning what a real dad is. The me that loathes play-doh crafts. The me who loves to cook. The me that is beginning to go on dates with my husband. The me that is a homeowner and wants to plant a garden, but kills all houseplants. The me who still fights with her family. The me who is perfectly imperfect full of scars who is willing to lift up her heart and be changed by a perfect God.
…and frankly?
it’s perfectly imperfect.
You can reach me at alycia.neighbours (at) gmail (dot) com
I know that you will find the strength to survive and to raise these babies to be smart, creative, super women!!! Just take a look in the mirror and see it for yourself! They are your hope and your future and your life mission now. Use every resource out there to give you that extra boost, don’t be afraid to ask and don’t ever think that you are alone. Too many people love you and will do anything and everything to help. Not just today, but two months from now, four months from now, six month from now and for years to come!! You are LOVED!!!!!
Wow, just wow. I love you already.
I read your story and want to thank you for putting it all out there. Too many of us have dealt with similar things, while not all of us have had such difficult endings to it. I was so glad to read your recent updates and wish you all of the best this holiday season and into the new year!
Falling into your blog has been a lovely accident. I love how you write and I thank you for being brave enough to share your story and pour out your most sincere feelings. I’m glad writing has been a form of relief because not everybody is able to do that and you truly write it like it is without regret. God really does turn us into admirable people during the worst of times, even when we are clueless as to where the strength is coming from. Congratulations on your new life and may this new chapter be everything you and your girls deserve.
Alycia, you are so right! Throwing out the old “stuff”, especially beliefs that don’t serve you well, makes room for a new, lighter self to emerge. So glad you dumped that rooster and all he carried with him. Hooray!
Well…..I was stopping by as I hop along the Blissdom newbies and after reading what followed after “at 35″ I know it was not accident be being here. Can’t wait to meet you at Blissdom
I love the honest of your writing and the openness of your personality. You’re a credit to the internets and this crazy world.
What a story you have here! I am intrigued and looking forward to reading more….
So, we used to be friends on twitter and then I stopped tweeting because I was doing that instead of well, parenting. When I came back, your whole world changed. I am glad to see that you weathered the storm! Your writing is amazing. Looking forward to following your tweets again (you always made me laugh)
Lisa
I still think of my life as one bad soap opera. Loses of all kinds. I have had a difficult time finding blogs that I can relate too. Lots of mommy blogs, crafting, cooking, decorating blogs and they have their place.
I needed to find someone like you. Our lives are not so different. I think I am farther along the timeline but I relate with your loss & your new normal.In the space of 3 years-
1. My 11 year old died of a brain tumor.
2. My parents home burned up 1month later.
3. My sister-in-law was attacked by a dog 1 month later & was severely injured.
4. My mother-in-law fell & broke her pelvis 1 month later.
5.Nepew #2 is sent to prison for 15 to 20.
6.My sister left her husband & 17 yr old daughter,brought her 21 yr old son, & 2 unhouse broken dogs & moved into my parents new house.
7.Nephew lost tip of a finger due a bad cut that was wrapped to tight.
8.On my parents 51 anniversary, my oldest brother was taken to the hospital & told he had liver cancer that spread.
9.Nephew take overdose of oxycon a few days later & is prounced dead.
9.A code blue is called at the same time for my brother & he died a few hours later.
10.Sister-law dies from lung cancer 2 months later.
11.All 4 parents alll die within the next 2 years.
12.Brother #2 takes his own life.
13.Sister is an anorexic drug addict.
I don’t tell you these things to gain pity. I just want you to know that I understand a little about what
your loss means to you
I have just been writing my blog for a few months. It is hard to write about the personal stuff that I feel compelled to write about when I know most people would rather hear a cute story about a toddler that won’t get dressed.
I know that I have written too much. You inspire me to keep writing about my story. It’ok to call yourself a widow. I have no name that I can call myself for losing a child. We have both been forever changed by our losses. Keep writing, even if it is about the squabbles of the kids or a messy house. Tell your story. I have just started to tell mine. Thnks for listening.
I just wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. This is my first time participating in a chain letter type award. I hope that you realize that there are a few reasons I am doing this: 1) To thank you for the inspiration you have given me as I learn the blogging ropes 2) To share your talents with my friends, families, and followers. I hope that you will graciously accept this award from a newbie like me!
http://allaccesspassblog.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/first-id-like-to-thank/
“Perfectly imperfect.” It’s the best way to live. It’s nice to have watched your transformation, and I am perched on my seat excited to see more unfold from you.
My friend Natalie also lost her husband to suicide. Her book, Tears to Joy, is being released this fall. You can see more about her story at http://www.natalieflake.com
*hugs*